Adios - the letter 1

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 Hello,

When I saw you for the first time, do you know how I felt? Irritating. Like, who is this girl!? That's where my journey with you started. In the marriage. (You must be thinking, "What marriage!?" Yeah, we'll talk about it. Just continue reading.)

Even now I think you're a bit irritating ;). The difference is that now you are more than that. Over these years, how I think about you has changed. It's something that developed over time, slowly and steadily - As if you grew on me.

So what is this thing that I have for you?
Honestly, it's a mixture of many feelings.

My heartbeat rises every time I see you. I am cracking all the jokes I can to watch you laugh. I miss you so much if we don't talk frequently. 

I don't like horror movies, but I would like to watch them with you; I don't like talking much, but I would do it for you. Seems like if you are with me, I can manage things better.

These days I feel like you also could feel the same about me. To get a confirmation, I have to ask you, or I have to wait for you to open up. Whenever I want to ask you, therein comes my fear of how you'd respond. But I feel like I can no longer bury these feelings and at the same time, I am unable to talk straight to your face. That's why this letter.

So, what is it I want to say?
Well, wait for one more minute please - as I have decided to open up, let me mention another thing: The first time I dreamt of you.

Not long back, I have got a dream, in which we are walking together. I think we are on the way to a temple. You are wearing a maroon colour salwar kameez with silver earrings. The road is very wide with a divider in between and we are walking on the left side along the divider. We weren't talking much; You are looking on the other side, enjoying the hilly view and I am busy looking at you - the hair strands that keep coming back on the face, the dangling earrings that are trying to match your speed, the curious face which is never tired of exploring. After walking some distance, one of our friends has seen us. I am asking that person (just signalling) how we are looking together (I actually don't remember what was the reply). I am just in awe.

That's the dream. After I woke up, it took me so much time to realize that it was a dream. It had felt so real! These days, whenever we are walking together, I remember that dream and smile. One day, I wish to live this incident in reality. We wish only for good things, and you are the best thing that happened in my life.

Sarojini, I really like you very much and I want to tell you that I love you. But I have to be sure that you are also feeling the same. Maybe I need a bit more time. Till then, I want us to spend more time together.

Quiero caminar contigo.

***

This is the letter that I was supposed to give when I met her on that day.

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