To the sister…

Hey sista..

I used to have a wish. A wish that grew with time. A wish that grew up with me. I allowed it to grow. I thought it was not that bad. Not much to ask for. Or so I thought.

I just wished for an elder sibling.

Someone whom I will fight with.

Whom I will approach for things.

Who will be with me in bad days.

I wanted to share my good news,

My crush and embarrassments,

Little secrets and silly banters.

I wished for an elder sister - not too old, just around my age. 

I wished for you, sista.

I looked for you in people - maybe not enough. 

But in the end, I couldn’t find you. Nowhere.

I could not spend time with you.

I could not share things with you.

Maybe that’s what life is. Wishes are not always granted. Maybe it’s time to let of you.

Not that I am complaining. I just want you to be a good memory. The idea of you - maybe it’s time I accepted that it’s just an idea. The idea of my first love.

I will hold you dear in my memories. In these words.

Is this sad? Yes. But that’s okay. I will get over this. Then you will be a great memory. Something I smile when every time I remember you.

Letting you go sista,

With love,

Your brother.