The distance

"Hey Trived, tell me about your friends", a colleague asked.

"What? Why?"

"Where have you been, man? Are you not listening to our discussion?"

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about something. So, we are, uh, discussing the topic 'friends'?"

"Yeah, so can you tell us about your friends?"

"Sure, definitely. I have to mention this person, and the name is Akash."

"You got a photo or something? Just you know, if someone crashed into him, we can use your name..", someone in the group shouted.

I scrolled down in the Gallery and showed the picture of us together. 

"That seems very long back, you did not meet afterwards?"

That was a good observation. I agreed and sighed.

"Yeah, you know, he is just busy with his job, family, all that. We now talk rarely."

"Right man, they happen. Just we have to move on, I think."

Whispers are made regarding the opinion. I heard arguments that supported it and opposed it.

It did not take much time for the whispers to divert. The discussion shifted to other topics. Once again I allowed the trigger to run my thoughts.

***

Akash and I were best friends since school. We studied and played together in school. We studied together in college. I thought we'd land up in the same job, sitting side-by-side and working. But it was not how things turned out.

We got different jobs at different locations. I was happy for him as he got a better job than me. I bid him goodbye and thought "Yeah, this cannot go forever. Sometimes we need fresh starts or breaks." I thought I behaved very maturely, by accepting the separation between us, and not crying about that.

I was right that separation could not be avoided at some point in time. The initial days were not much hard to pass. Maybe because I was there with him all the time, so it was easy to spend the first few months without him. Even though, we used to message a lot and talk for hours till batteries died.

But I was wrong about breaks, especially the duration. During deadlines or important work, I was unable to message or talk frequently. Initially, I did not miss him much. Then unknowingly the duration had increased. There was a point where I missed him so badly that we wanted to meet.

***

"How are you doing, man!",

"Yeah fine! how about you?"

"I am fine too!"

We went to eat at a restaurant. We discussed things regarding job roles, stress, managers, and others. But the talk seemed like revealing the unknown things about him one by one, his new colleagues, new car, mobile, and passions.

I did not know about the majority of the things he talked about. It felt different as if he were not the same Akash I knew. I tried to smile as much as I can. The day ended with another goodbye. The difference was this did not feel normal. I had felt as if I had lost someone, that person whom you think is very special. After that, I tried to keep in touch with him. Sometimes he said he was busy. But for me, the nightmare moment was yet to come.

"Hai man, How was the day?", I messaged him.

"Yeah, it was not bad!". At the same time, there was a message from a random person in a chat that is marked extinct - the school WhatsApp group.

Thanks to that random person I forgot, there was a discussion that led to sharing of nostalgic moments, which pushed me to recollect some jokes between me and Akash.

"You are reading that? At least someone is making the group alive." I messaged him.

"Yes, did not expect someone would keep a message after this long time."

"Of course, did you remember the jokes we used to have on English sir?"

"Yeah of course! How can I forget them man..!" - this was the reply I expected. But it did not happen. Instead, there was silence for a few minutes.

"I actually didn't remember about it...", this was Akash's reply.

I did not understand it at first. The smile on my face was fading. Consider a memory, which is so precious to you that you did not share it with anyone in this world but one person. When I heard that person forgot it, it hurt.

"Is that so? It's okay, I also don't remember things much", I replied.

But I was not fine. I spent some days thinking over it. During our separation post-college, I felt normal and I did not ask about him. After some years, he was feeling normal and he did not ask about me.

After that, I did not talk much to him. He invited me to his marriage, but I did not feel like going to it. Some might say I have ruined it myself, but I just thought I would behave as he would think of me - a busy guy and big duties.

***

'We talk to each other. But the duration is not longer.'

'We message each other. But there are not that time-forgetting chats.'

'We meet now. But there is no magical feel.'

I could easily forget this issue in the past, but I want it as a reminder about how to be with people who are very precious to us. Without thinking much, I excused myself and safely reached home.

"Hey, I think you are lost yourself in that discussion. Did you remember Akash again?" It was a message from Mira.

"Yeah, right." I smiled.

"How are you now?"

"Yeah good."

"You busy?"

"Never."

***