A notes on him

"So, that's it?" I asked, trying not to look awkwardly.

"Yeah, man," he said. There was a moment of silence. I looked around while sitting on the bench. The evening walkers who come to the park already left. The sun had set, allowing the moonlight to take control. I had understood that our meeting would end soon. However, I thought I could extend it a few minutes if I continued to talk about things - those I saved to discuss when we meet. But I could not recall much, as if I seemed to forget them. It should not be a surprise to me.

As I struggled to bring out some topics, we both rose. With no option left and no words to speak, I had to allow myself to ask "Shall we go?". He agreed.

Exactly a minute after we started moving away from each other, my lazy brain began to burst with a list of things that I had forgotten with top-notch precision (and zero spelling mistakes)...

Hey, did you tell him about that new series?

Those stupid colleagues you do not like?

That event at home two weeks back?

Is he still single? 

But I could not call him back. So, I wanted to save these points for the next time. The loop started. Again.

The Beginning

All I can remember is that we have known each other since the start of our secondary school. How did we end up as friends? Well, that requires something like a turnstile in the 'Tenet' movie. So, let's just focus on what I remembered. According to me, he is very intelligent and he looks very straightforward with his specs (even though he does not have a single idea of what he is doing). He is tall. But to me, he appears like a short person.  When I told him about it, he replied
"I just look short because I am lean. That's it. I am even taller than you."
(Okay, that is a tall guy defending himself. Anyways, he is right.)

I visited his home a few times during our school. For a guy like me, the route to his home is worse than 'Padmavyuham'. Padmavyuham is famous for luring people in, but making the escape a death wish. For me, the route used to be like Padmavyuham 2.0 - both going to and coming back used to be very difficult if not impossible. So, how did I use to go to his home? Like this :

"Hey, I wanna come to your home," I would say first.

"Yeah, sure."

"At what place will you come?" 

"I will come up to that car. You remembered the route up to it right?"

"Yeah, yeah. I will come and wait at that point. At what time?"

So, he had to pick me up once we decided to end up at his home. I used to reach the common point, which consists of a direct route. At that point, he used to be there. Then he would guide me through the maze to his home. Similarly, when I had to leave, he would accompany me till that 'car'. 

With time, I managed to reach his home on my own on an incremental basis. On one fortunate day, I reached his home completely on my own!! The happiness that I felt on that day - even an Olympic Gold medallist wouldn't have experienced it. There was no turning back after that - #MissionAccomplished.

We also managed to go for a trip (can we even call that a trip? Whatever) during our school. There was some test which our school management conducted, and people who scored well in it got the chance to attend classes from the main branch of our school, which is in another town. (I still remember the joke about the trip. Our classmates used to say "The trip is free! Just we have to pay the charges!!" - lol). The tour itself is a source of great laughter. There was a chemistry teacher (yeah, there were Maths, Physics and Chemistry classes) who would talk in a peculiar way that we both would laugh like anything. There were around 30 students in the class but not a single guy other than us found anything wrong. Every other guy used to listen quietly while we died controlling our laughs.

But hey, it's not like the trip is full of nightmares. There was an open-air theatre with a screen to play movies. One night, we got information that a new movie would be played. But they ended up playing a completely different movie - a disappointment that we still carry for today.

***

He is actually a smart fellow in general - very good at solving puzzles, and also a great chess player. His favourite subject in school was mathematics. When I asked him 'why it's your favourite', he would say with a smile 'It does not have complex spellings.' I did not understand at that time that his strength of a sharp brain was not known to many people because of his weakness in remembering things, which is a must in our schooling system. Even I underestimated him during our initial days (I always do this - underestimating almost everything and everyone. But that story, maybe for another day... now, let's come back to the point). Later, I started to pity those who judged him just by his marks.

However, his intelligence and sharpness come alive when one tries to argue with him. He generally does not talk much. But if he chooses to talk and starts to defend his logic, it's almost impossible to outwit him. He starting an argument is itself a sign that the other side is going to lose. However, out of the countless arguments I had, I was fortunate to win 1 or 2 arguments. Well, sometimes luck dominates talent, doesn't it?

So, we studied together till our undergraduate days. Almost 7 years. Sat side by side. Ate lunch together. Laughed together. Made fun of teachers. Played badminton. I saw him at my home.  I bowled with my left hand (for the first and the last time). Then arrived the undergraduate days.

The Separation

When I came to know that we were going to study in different colleges, my first thoughts were - "Yeah, this is part of life. Friends get close and they move away. This is how it goes." (Sounds very mature right? Even I felt the same back then). I started going to college. Things were all fine. Or seemed to be fine. After the first few days in college, I started to notice the differences. I began to feel the pain of him not being around. That's when I realized - I was missing him.

We started to text each other a lot. We had calls as long as three hours. We used to discuss so much about movies (mostly related to Marvel studios), trying to recall some jokes. At every semester holiday, I made a rule to meet him. We used to directly meet or to go for a movie. I began to crave a few hours to spend with him, and this hit hard when I realized how I took him for granted when we literally spent years sitting beside each other. The separation taught me one of the hardest yet best lessons in life - NEVER take the people near you for granted.

Soon I began to understand the important roles he played in my life during our school days. He is my source of positivity - He always used to bring a positive vibe when I felt like a mess. Even today when I feel low, I think "What he would say to me now?". But wait, that does not mean he is a guy admired by everyone. Well, to be admired, one should know him, right? Only a few people really knew him, because he is actually a pure introvert (unlike me). The amount of talking he does to a random stranger and the amount of talking he does to me are inseparably the same! He never starts the conversation. The other party should not just talk, but should ask questions to make him talk!! Talking to him all these years was like doing a professional course on how to make introverts talk. I still wonder who will be the girl to marry this guy. Now you know why I am interested in his relationship status ;).

I began to admire his simplicity, both in character and material. I saw many dumb people trying to show off, but he has always been different. He has always been humble, choosing the minimalistic life possible even though he could afford better living standards. I always remember him whenever my confidence is reaching the stage of over-confidence.

He is one of the first people who constantly used to alert me if I was comparing myself with him or with anyone. For him, comparing any two people is like a senseless act. For me standing today with minimal peer pressure, he is the reason. He also reminds me to "move on" whenever I feel low in my life. Back when I was an overly-over-thinker on the edge of breaking down, he helped me to the greatest extent in controlling and cutting off those thinking loops. To put it simply, I survived my early mental health crisis because of him, even before we knew mental health was a thing.

The Present

So, here I am, and there he is. We have graduated from different colleges, in different courses, landed in different jobs and currently working in different cities, separated by thousand kilometres. I still miss him the way I missed him at the start of my undergraduate days. He has a vibe which I did not find in any other guy I met afterwards - or I did not want to find it in any other guy.

I think that's what happens when you find the people you love. Generally, I don't get close to people because I am afraid that I will lose them. My thought process goes like this - what's the point of getting close if we are to be eventually separated? But that's the whole point: We come across people who are worth having memories with.

We will find people whom we admire so much that it's better to be with them as long as possible and let them go afterwards, rather than avoid them completely. When such people are separated from us, even though it would hurt us during the move-on period, we will have priceless memories that we cherish for a lifetime. Not everyone can give us great memories. Not with everyone we feel missing.

I cherish the memories of our being together. Whenever I feel that sweetish flavour after eating sweets (which makes me eat less sweets), when I can't focus on the same thing for more time, when I have difficulties in remembering things, when my YouTube feed shows the channels he suggested, there will be a smile on my face. I think of when we will meet again. Then I think of saving the points that I want to discuss with him. The more points I have, the more time I can talk to him. The loop.

The Epilogue

I have been going through works where people are celebrated/honoured/whatever-it-is when they leave this planet. For example, Disney dedicated a movie (Brave) to Steve Jobs after he died. I thought "There is no point in showing how much you love them once they are gone". 

Maybe I don't know. That's how it works, or that's not how it works. But what if it is the other way around? You wanted to express something but it was too late for you. Some things might not need a "right time". 

So, this post is a celebration of him. His friendship. For being beside me at all times. For not judging me.

Well, how is the post??
(Come on, this post is actually too short, man! I want to add more memories.)

Well, my dear reader, thanks for reading it! Feel free to share your feedback in the comments. There is also another post on a similar theme - you can take a look here.

P. S. Did you watch Loki season 2 ??