Ram vs Ram - chapter 5

 Want to read from the start? Click here.

*** 

Ram and Kalyani reached the end of the road and stopped. Both of them should turn in opposite directions to reach their homes. Kalyani to the left.

"It seems I am repeating, but anyways, want to say that, I like doing this. Spending time with you." Ram wanted to say something more but stopped himself.

"Yeah. Same here." said Kalyani.

"Well, okay.."

"Yeah."

"See you."

"See you." 

In few more hours the sun would rise and Ram would see her again. But he was thinking of watching sunrise by her side. Reluctantly, Ram turned to the right and started walking.

But he could not take more steps. He wanted to ask her today. In fact he planned a whole talk. How he should propose. He was certain that she would accept it. Well, mostly. 

Unable to resist, he stopped and turned back. Kalyani was still there - looking at him.

"Oh, you are, uh, not walking?"

"Yeah, seems you too", smiled Kalyani.

"Well, actually.." Ram hesitated. 

Kalyani was looking straight into his eyes. It made him a bit nervous. He forgot what and how he would like to start.

"Well.." Nope. The words are not coming. He decided to come straight to the point before he messed up more.

 "Can we..."

"Yes." she said.

Ram wakes up from the sleep. He is sweating profusely. It was just past midnight. He drinks water on his bed side and wishes his counterpart to know how tough things are. 

***

"You know, he is still not over his past love, Janaki" the psychologist told him.

"Is that my mistake?"

"No. But I feel he needs more time to accept things and move on."

He is very angry at his counterpart for breaking off the marriage with Kalyani. He was there - he was listening to those words when they came out. I am not understanding why we both are getting married. He wanted to scream. He wanted to kick himself. Punch in the face. Never in his life he felt so powerless than on that day. Never in his life he became aware of the other personality. 

But somehow his counterpart cannot access his memories. Cannot remember what happened. He was not aware of the relationship with Kalyani. Nor the wedding preparations. The psychologist suggested to reach out to him. Write a note. Try to make friendship. Take a step towards mending things. But he has been refusing. It seems he can never forgive what has happened. 

While he is preparing to go to the office, the door bell rings. Wondering who might be at this time, opens it. 

"Hi. How are you?"

His heart skips a beat. It's been a few months since Kalyani's marriage and he is not at all expecting her.

"Hey.. um, Hi.. Yeah, I am, good. Good. Yeah. How are you?" he is trying hard to control his tears.

"Yes. I am good too." replies Kalyani. He nods.

"Please come inside."

They sat in the sofa. He gave her water to drink. Not cold. She always starts with water first before 

"I never get to speak to you, actually. I am very sorry, uh, for everything."

"So it's you then. I hated you a lot. I never even believed that you have this issue. Just thought you might be cheating. Even Shiva was telling me, but you know me." Ram nods.

"But with time, I realized that it was hard for you too. On inside. You, us.. it never worked out the way it was intended to. And as you said, we never talked to each other. It's not that I have things to say. I feel you have your own chaos going inside. But I just want to say that, it's important that we forgive people. I was very harsh, with uh, the other you. Just let him know that I felt bad for him. It should not have happened like that." Ram nods.

He is not in a position to talk with her. Even though he wanted to.
He want to hold her and cry like a child. 
He want to tell that he was not feeling okay. 
He want her to hold him and tell that..

"Hey, everything shall be all right soon."  says Kalyani. Ram nods.

"I, uh, actually want to, uh, have to go to office. You know, got to do his stuff."

"Got a tough boss, huh?" 

"Haha."

Kalyani gets up. "Fine. I will take your leave then. I wish for your speedy recovery and hope that you two get together along." She pauses. "You know, it was very difficult for me when the marriage got broken. Very confusing. Annoying. Frustrating. I never felt more lost. I lost my marriage for God's sake! Without any apparent reason. It took me so much of time to accept and heal myself. And come to you and talk to you normally, like this.

I need not explain all of this to you Ram, because I am sure you had experienced the same. But I still wanted to speak this with you. Because I believe talking out will help. It gives me peace. Of course also that I know you will listen to me. You will understand me. I want you to have the same peace with him too. But for that, you need to give a chance to him, Ram. A chance. To open up and also to listen.

Well, bye then. Hope to see you soon." 

After she leaves, Ram picks a note.

- end of chapter 5-