The Diary - Part 1/7 - The Bloggers League 2022

   

     Author: Rama Subrahmanyam

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    The dinner is completed. Without wasting much time, he quickly went to the table and started penning down his thoughts. He had to write so many things, and he picked his mobile for reference - His brain had been bursting with thoughts the whole day, he had quickly saved them so that they were not forgotten by night.

    "I did not know that today would be a special one till I saw her at my office. It was a surprise. When she recognized and greeted me, my body was frozen as if I saw some ghost. Of course, I was not at all expecting her at that time. Then she wished me and we had a small talk. How can I prevent that? It is short and sweet talk.

    "She visited the area where our office is located for some work and saw me accidentally. As she knew me as a school friend, and a well-known face in our school WhatsApp group, she talked me to know what I am doing now and all. Of course, I never met anyone physically after school, no one except me know what I have been doing all these years. I did not attend any reunions, marriages, parties. But no one knew that I avoided those events because of her." He gave a brief pause and continued writing.

    "Yeah, because she is the girl I liked so much without knowing why and what was that special feel. Because I feared her reply if I proposed to her. Because I did not want to face further consequences of such a romantic relationship. Because.. well, it was all confusing. Later, with age and awareness, I understood what's love, its purity, its non-expecting nature, its ability to accept, to understand, the advantages and disadvantages of having a relationship, and so on. I did not know whether I understood it completely yet, but concluded my feeling for her was some kind of infatuation and left that topic."

    "But the feeling did not recede with time, it remained the same. I thought to contact her, through her friends but did not want to have any suspicions - so dropped. Tried to message her, but did not know how she would react when someone messages her out of blue. I thought to learn about her, understand her, talk to her, make her happy, and in the same way, I want her to know all about me. But that was all covered in fear. Some fear of my future with her, where I will be beside her, where she can cuddle me, my fear of her becoming a normal taken-for-granted person, like parents and friends. I preferred to keep her at a very special place in my heart till my last breath. A long-term continuous relation - did not seem right."

    There was a silence. 'Did I miss a great chance? Was I an escapist? Would I have been a great partner she could never expect? Am I jealous of her future life partner?' He was not able to answer them. From what he observed from the school group messages, she is not married yet. That's it, a ray of hope emerged within him. He could no more resist his feelings for her. He could neither express to her. After some thinking, he finalized - To start some contact with her. At least he could know if there's any problem for her so that he could help.

    Meanwhile, he kept the thoughts on hold and completed writing about other activities. Still, he was thinking about having contact with her. He proceeded to mention that.

    "Decided to have contact with her, at least as a friend, which seemed better than being a stranger. This is better than having contact with her friends. No one could ever know one's future. We only imagine it. It's time I gave up my fear and face it. I will be reminding myself to do minimal harm to her, mentally as well as physically in this journey, if it exists."  

    He concluded with the routine lines - "So, hey, reader, you read up to now even knowing it's a personal diary. Better stop now and burn these down which I was unable to do. Help me in protecting my privacy, or at least burn them after reading all the pages. Keep these things a secret. No Spoilers about me..!!"

    He did not stop there, he added the last line making his eyes slightly wet "If it is you, Aanya, I wanted to say that, I love you." He closed the diary.

    "1 new message from Tarun St. Thomas" - Aanya mobile got a notification while she was asleep.

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Thank you, for reading...! So what do you think will happen to Tarun and Aanya? Don't forget to share your views. Did you come across any super cute stories? Don't forget to share with us in the comments...

Do you want to do further reading and check your guesses? Follow the below links:-

For Part 2, click here.

For Part 3, click here.

This article is written as a part of The Bloggers League conducted by Vidhya Thakkar Neelam Sharma and Siddhi Palande powered by Penguin India, Dreamland Publications and Acclidesign should not be repurposed, republished or used otherwise. The content herein is owned by the blogger. Hosts are not responsible for any infringement caused.”