The Diary - Part 2/7 - The Bloggers League

    

 

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Author: Rama Subrahmanyam

Missed part 1? Read it here

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    He was at the table, looking at the diary. His hands were shaking. It was the lowest point one could ever reach. He could not go further down or further bad. He had gathered some strength and began writing.

    "What I thought would happen, it happened. What I couldn't bear, it showed up. What I feared for, it occurred. But it's not about me. I should not have sent that message."

    "We were a happy couple, like the best couple on the planet. Every day was special when I woke up to see her face. Every day was filled with lots of memories that require thousands of lives to experience. I no longer needed diaries to share my feelings. She became my dairy, and I became hers. We welcomed Saanghvi into the world, to give her all the love no one can ever imagine.."

    "I thought love could change anything and anyone. What a great love..!! But I realized lately that it works for someone who has that ability to change; who is willing to change. Unfortunately, I was not that type. What I thought would never return into my life, made its progress into me. What I thought left long back and far away, went nowhere but waiting behind me; just for a chance. The revenge was crueller. The target was not me, but my loved ones."

    "It was due to work pressures, which I gave in because to get more promotions. Because to earn more money. Because to be a great son. Because to be a great husband. Because to be a great father. Was that really true? No, it was the cover I used it as an escape card. It was always me. Always wanted to get something more, live a rich life, and gather comforts; but within a short time. I lacked patience, hence it was easy to get frustrated. Finally, it developed into uncontrolled anger. I used to dump this off at my parents. They are parents right, they had that forgiveness by default."

    "This was the exact thing, I feared for inviting Aanya into my life. At least I should have told her. I hid it in my first talk to prevent a bad impression; later I did not tell because there was no need. I was completely changed. No more anger, no more frustrations, only memories with Aanya and Saanghvi."

    "But then, a slight moment started. After a long time, I shouted at my parents. It was a sign I ignored. Next, I wanted to shout at the office, but I was forced to behave for the sake of my job. But, I failed at her. She was shocked. Tried to calm me. I knew that she was not my therapist. So we went for a therapist. Underwent meditation, medication, counselling, and made tours to spend some time with nature."

    "The tours were great. But, my old self returned as soon as they were completed. She could no more handle it. I was in a position of hurting that kid due to my extreme mood swings. My little kid, who had to be proud of me, was fearing of me. Finally, she made the choice. We were separated, and I got admitted to a hospital. Every second at the hospital felt like ages. After coming out of that hell, I was informed about the demise of my parents. No friends, no parents, no job, no Aanya, no Saanghvi. I was just a man without a reason to live."

    He was crying continuously. He proceeded with the last sentences. "So, hey, reader, be open with anyone whom you want to be close and tell all your low sides. The other person may be strong enough to change you or leave you. Or the person may be weak that you cannot know their suffering. In either case, you are causing great trouble which remains a scar. Being open helps in preventing the mishaps."

    He thought to add two more lines. "If it is you, Saanghvi, I.." he could not complete it. He picked the next line. "Aanya, I am..". He could not find words to express. Nor he could find an explanation. He deserved what he was going through. But not them, that too because of him. Not a reason to stay, he thought and closed the diary. He had taken all the dairies and threw them into the fire outside his home. He watched them burn to the ashes. He started moving. He left his building, he left his cards, he left his cars; He was moving away from everything, and everyone.

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Thank you for the read..! If you are interested, make sure to give Part 3 a read.

P. S. Did you come across a cute story? Don't forget to share your favourite in the comment section...

This article is written as a part of The Bloggers League conducted by Vidhya Thakkar Neelam Sharma and Siddhi Palande powered by Penguin India, Dreamland Publications and Acclidesign should not be repurposed, republished or used otherwise. The content herein is owned by the blogger. Hosts are not responsible for any infringement caused.”