The Conversation - 6
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It was a typical night for the planet; something that exits as quietly as it enters. But not for all the people living on it. A single night has the capability of changing lives forever. Rohan did not know it was that night for him. The night when he learnt that Apoorva and him were not meant to be together.
Feelings are weird - They underestimate the things that break us and overestimate if they favour us. Emotions cloud the logical judgement which tries to show us the hard reality. He had a hope that she would accept him, with a chance in a million, or in a billion. But when he had come to know that it was a solid zero, his heart started skipping beats. It's a realization that one in a billion can be treated as zero. That his dreams with her would only remain as dreams. That he would soon lose the most important person.
The feeling had haunted him for weeks, the immediate days being the worst. His brain felt so hard to listen to what his boss was saying. Out of the blue, his eyes used to fill up with tears and he had to prevent the drops from coming out. He was breaking down every night.
It's quite a journey, Rohan thought as he was waiting for Apoorva at the café near her office. From facing the first-ever heartbreak in his life to meeting the same special person. He could not share these with his friends as they would fault her. If there was any mistake in this story, it should be his. She did not ask him to devote his time to her. She did not ask to keep efforts for her. She would not have encouraged his time with her if she knew what was on his mind. It was he who chose to be with her. He knew that there were very less chances of her thinking what he was thinking. He chose to gather some memories, and he got them. He was much better having a friend rather than a stranger; just that he failed to recognize it was easier said than done.
He wanted to talk to his sister about it. But at the same time, Abha was preparing for an important conference. He did not want to disturb her then. He did not want to bring it up afterwards. He had to go through it alone till he realized and processed that it was a normal outcome. He then became normal, except for occasional triggers.
"Hai, Rohan..!", wished Apoorva who sat in front of him.
"Oh, hey! Hai..", Rohan smiled back. "Sorry, I was... I did not see you coming"
"Yeah, that's right. What were you thinking?"
"Just normal office things, you know."
"I sure do. So, how have you been Rohan?"
"Yeah, oscillating ups and downs. How are you? How was the concert by the way?"
Apoorva's eyes lit up when he mentioned the concert.
"Oh my God! One should attend such events! The experience was so great. Happy that one thing ticked on my bucket list."
"Oh! So what are the other items on your list then?"
"The list is a secret!", Apoorva hushed. "But you tell me, have you found any girl yet?"
Rohan became a little hesitant. Apoorva smiled. "So you are seeing someone, huh?"
"Yeah, But don't know..."
"That's great! What's her name?"
"Ridhi."
"Wow... 'Rohan weds Ridhi'. Sounds great!"
"Seriously?"
"Oh come on! You wouldn't tell me if you weren't serious about her."
"That's a valid point."
"See?"
"Okay, fine. We have met a few times."
"How did it go?"
"Awkward!?"
"Oops! That's not unexpected though.."
"Yeah, but we are agreeing to meet again and again. So I think that's a better news."
"Definitely. Yeah, take your time. And most importantly, if you ask me, make sure to be yourself. If you don't present as yourself, remember that you have to be that "other" guy for the rest of your life."
"Yeah, got it. I won't fake it if I can't make it."
"Right. However, you obviously have to make tiny adjustments. They should feel cute. If you are too uncomfortable with something or you feel you are losing a part of yourself, you will feel the pain. Then you should respectfully stop going further."
"Understood." Rohan smiled to himself.
"What?", Apoorva wondered why he was smiling.
"Your words remembered her."
"Ohh! Is it? Why am I getting good vibes already on this girl?"
"Okay, I think we can end your tutorial session here. I will be myself. Change but do not compromise. Noted. Thank you, ma'am!"
"Fine fine. Just remember that you can only be yourself when you are clear in your thoughts. When you were not dealing with something bigger than getting close to her."
Rohan flinched at this reply.
Am I dealing with something bigger than Ridhi?
His brain seemed to know the answer. Something that he should work on. A pending task.
He marked the task for later and quickly diverted the topic from Ridhi to the visa interviews of Apoorva, and her trip plans, all the way enjoying the black coffee. Within a few minutes, their meeting had come to an end, and they bid their way.
Rohan returned to the room but he could not stop thinking about what Apoorva told him. What she said was right. He could never know when he would completely move on. He did not know whether that was possible. All these feelings related to her, he wanted to talk to someone. He wanted to share them to feel lighter. He no longer wanted to carry it all by himself. He called Abha.
"Hai sis, how are you?"
"Yeah bro, I am fine. How about you?"
"Better. Uh, can we actually meet sis? I want to share something that's been overdue."
**End of Part 6**
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